Dark and lovely am I

In this crazy season of my life one thing that I have really enjoyed is hearing very profound and moving words from the Lord.  I feel like I have come out of a very dry season where I heard nothing but the mocking voices in my head laughing at me bc I couldnt hear his voice.  So hearing and revelation is a beautiful and relieving thing right now! 

About a week ago, I was laying on my bed and I felt the Lord as if He was sitting in front of me.  He asked me a gentle question, "when was the last time you quieted your heart before me?"  I answered Him and said "I cant remember...I havent"  Then gently He said " All I want you to do is sit here and look at me....just look at me"  "If you look at me you see nothing else"  

 I was hit with such a revelation of Him.....that means if He wants me to look at Him....then in return He wants to look at me too. 

I have been blessed to be able to sit under teaching from Pastors and leaders about the Song of Solomon and how it relates to our relationship to the Lord.  How the Lord describes his "bride" and how He sees us despite how we see ourselves.  A verse I like to dwell on is ,"Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon"  In that verse she is describing how she has been darkened by the cares of the world and by the sin in her heart.  But she is also describing her understanding that even in her darkness, her Lord sees her as lovely and beautiful.  I am dumbfounded by that!   

Obviously when I look at Jesus I see every good thing and I am overwhelmed with His deep love.  But could it be that when He looks at me (you) He sees profound beauty in the weakness and search for him?....Yes I think so.  Is it hard to grasp? Yes! But I am willing.  I am more comfortable with just sitting there looking at Him and seeing His love.  I would rather He didnt look at me.  But perhaps if I saw myself then way He sees me then maybe it wouldnt matter so much.   I am dark yet lovely.